Copyright 2005 The News and Observer

                 The News & Observer (Raleigh, North Carolina)

 

                            March 30, 2005 Wednesday

                                 Final Edition

 

SECTION: EDITORIAL/OPINION; Pg. A13

 

LENGTH: 645 words

 

HEADLINE: Oh death, where is thy simplicity?

 

BYLINE: Rick Martinez, Correspondent

 

BODY:

 

   RALEIGH--With a will drawn up, medical power of attorney granted to my wife and my personal wishes written down, I thought I had my end-of-life issues sewn up.

 

   Then Terri Schiavo came along. Her plight has taught me a profound lesson: Dying isn't a solitary act.

 

   The decision not to be kept alive in a persistent vegetative state carries with it a certain amount of nobility -- not wanting to be a burden to society, family and all that. I've bought into that line of thinking for years. I've claimed my fair share of false public dignity about my so called right-to-die. But at the same time I've privately acknowledged that should I end up in a hospice unable to produce brain waves, when my wife pulls the plug is a non-issue, because I won't be able to tell the difference anyway. So what's the big deal?

 

   The heroic efforts of Terri Schiavo's parents and siblings to keep her alive have made me understand that how my life ends may be a bigger deal to my family than I want to recognize. It's been easy for me to declare that life artificially supported isn't worth living. But after observing how important and meaningful Terri's life, regardless of her condition, has become to her parents, brother and sister, I'm no longer so sure.

 

   While Michael Schiavo, Terri's husband and legal guardian, has proved to the courts that his wife didn't want to be kept alive in her present condition, I no longer think her wish is now the most relevant issue. The more significant question is whether Terri would still have chosen death if she knew that the circumstances of her passing would cause such deep anguish for people who have known and loved her much longer than Michael.

 

   I don't think she would, because I don't believe any caring person could. Sadly, what Terri would or wouldn't think about all this will be moot soon. She 'll be gone. But it's a question my wife and I are rethinking, and hard.

 

   We're committed to carrying out each other's end-of-life decisions and have the legal mechanisms in place. We've told our family how we want things to play out. But I'm not proud to admit that I've used the legal requirements as a shield to avoid confronting the awful questions Terri's case has thrust upon us.

 

   I haven't thought about what I would want to happen if there's a conflict over my medical condition. I haven't considered whether my parents should be denied the opportunity to order additional tests or therapy. I've avoided deciding whether the wishes of some in my family should take precedence over others.

 

   Selfishly, I've left all that for my wife to sort out. I figured I was doing all the heavy lifting by dying. But in reality, I was was counting on death as an easy way out.

 

   I deluded myself into thinking my responsibilities were fulfilled by communicating my final wishes to family members. But, frankly, I have serious doubts that they're clearly understood. Because of Terri Schaivo's plight, instead of gathering up my tribe and simply repeating the dictates of my will, I 'm going to ask them questions, listen to their thoughts, and perhaps rethink some of my decisions.

 

   My wife and I are already beginning to discuss how to handle conflicts. Most of our decisions won't be up for negotiation, but the Schiavo case has opened our eyes to the importance of explaining to family members just what our wishes mean. They need to know that if there is a question about our condition, the remaining spouse will err on the side of life. We must make it clear that we don 't consider a feeding tube an extraordinary measure to sustain life. We're going to say that if and when the day comes that we're forced to deal with end-of-life issues, their concerns will not be ignored.

 

   While many have complained about the public spectacle and politics generated by Schiavo case, I am not among them. I've become grateful for the valuable life lessons it's taught about dying.

 

LOAD-DATE: March 30, 2005